2001-12-08
december 8 - Here's a list of interesting questions from Ammonite (I have no idea who this person is, though s/he seems to have some interesting thoughts).

Do You Prefer the Genuine or the Mysterious?
In a 50/50 choice, I'd have to pick the genuine. Mysterious breeds infatuation. And that, unchecked, leads to mental instability.

Which is more attractive? The shy smile, or the honest grin?
The honest grin! Have you ever gotten your hopes up over a maybe, only to be kicked in the balls with let's be friends? Ass. Subtley doesn't work so well on me anyway. I prefer a solid folding-chair shot to the forehead, just to avoid the awkward situation afterword.

A coy glance, or a hug from a near-stranger?
Okay, I gotta reverse myself on this one and go with the coy glance. I'm always very suspicious of touchy-feely near-strangers. In a bitter mood I would call them attention whores; the people who are so absorbed in their own insecurities that they counterfit affection to others just to have some of that immediate validation.

A coy glance is something committed. If you think about it, for every one person who reveals a certain attraction to you, there are at least five to ten others who are too shy to show it. That one person who, sharing the smallest gift of appreciation, flashes that flirtatious grin across the room makes my day!

Honest conversation, or veiled flirting?
I think I just answered this, but allow me to ellaborate...

Unrestrained honesty is such a lost treasure anymore. I blame "political correctness", which is nothing more than liberal euphimistic censorship of honesty. Besides, if they don't flirt like a folding-chair shot to the forehead, it's all lost on me.

And it takes a certain amount of practiced hard-core honesty to be effectively flirtatious with me. As I get older, the most attractive trait in a person's character is their ability to be honest; with themselves, with other people, in thought and in action. Kristi is one of the most attractive people I know. That doesn't mean I'm interested (she bats for the other team anyway), but in a single night I'd much rather have an honest conversation with her than get fucked by PunkGoth girl, the S&M sex goddess of my dreams. ...woah. Okay, yeah, but two nights would be something different; even if it is just sport-fucking.

Is the hidden more attractive than the exposed?
Hmm...definitely. As the implicit requires more cerebral activity to fill in the blanks, it is then that much more delicious than the explicit.

Back to those attention whores; the general idea of explicitness screams "Help Me! Fix Me! Love Me! Cure Me!". It also conveys a pathetic ignorance of the fact that everyone has similar problems and worries, and we all need attention to the ways we cope with life. None of us are uniquely special enough to demand that attention of others without returning it equally.

Of course I'm not old enough yet for the majority of people around me to be as secure with themselves and their place in the world as to be explicit in their personalities and know what they are communicating.

When you choose your relationships, past the initial attraction, does that answer change?
Of course. It's the difference between dating and marriage. In the one, there is no concrete commitment, no absolute rules of the game. I like to play it cool. I like people who also know how to play it cool. It's a test of that sincere interest. Exploring another person's hidden beauty is the best thing about dating.
Then, once you've made your choice, the reward becomes sharing the nakedness with someone who also wants to be naked to you.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Requests? Beuler? Respond to this entry...